What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
