Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
