If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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