Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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