Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
