I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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