Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
