I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
