The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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