This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You took a bar mat shot.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
