Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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