This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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