i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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