today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
