Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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