Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
