oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
