i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm bleeding and have questions
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
