So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
