He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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