ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
