I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
