I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
