this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
