She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
