Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
