that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
