At least make sure they are 18
Why
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
