please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
