Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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