Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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