"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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