Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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