Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i will never coherently bang her
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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