cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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