What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
