Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
