So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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