nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
