I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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