your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
