whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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