hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
