HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize