Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
