As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
