I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
