Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
