Tell her she can't have a vagina
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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