She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
