My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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