quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
