I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
