The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
