I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
