Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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