my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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