...so i touched it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
