first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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