wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
