Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize
