I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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