Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you had me at cake vodka
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
