New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
home. puking in laundry basket.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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