It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
