At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
