Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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