i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
