I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This house was built for laser tag.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
