He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, beer. Big fan.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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