Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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