so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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