who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
