it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
not ubering you a puppy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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