It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
