Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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