what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
