Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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