I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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