Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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