i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
