I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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