Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
